She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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