good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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