Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.