their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?