Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.

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  (206): when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp. http://tfl.nu/bpd1
  Replies (62) Good night (776) Bad night (5623)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  how do you have sooo much energy?

  (571): View more from Virginia

  billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week

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  (703): how do you have sooo much energy? (571): billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week http://tfl.nu/czgq
  Replies (16) Good night (4586) Bad night (844)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings

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  (605): For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings http://tfl.nu/sahq
  Replies (30) Good night (3001) Bad night (991)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.

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  (406): You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior. http://tfl.nu/tu51
  Replies (6) Good night (1659) Bad night (1377)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love

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  (712): I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/bjop
  Replies (23) Good night (4698) Bad night (896)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.

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  (609): He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler. http://tfl.nu/dd1c
  Replies (9) Good night (444) Bad night (1058)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.

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  (501): I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit. http://tfl.nu/ez6v
  Replies (0) Good night (946) Bad night (376)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.

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  (318): PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/g9pr
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (355)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am not dying my bush blue.

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  (203): You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though. (860): I am not dying my bush blue. http://tfl.nu/alon
  Replies (10) Good night (1016) Bad night (834)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED

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  (570): WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED http://tfl.nu/najp
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (347)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless

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  (208): I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless http://tfl.nu/p6fh
  Replies (9) Good night (752) Bad night (406)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang

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  (623): Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang http://tfl.nu/tn14
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.

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  (501): His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/o5lz
  Replies (15) Good night (1529) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is

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  (517): I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is http://tfl.nu/a8vb
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.

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  (206): Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch? (1-206): Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive. http://tfl.nu/b0n8
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (282)

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