He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.