do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
