I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
