yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
