i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
