what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
