I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
