just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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