Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize