I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
