Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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