North Korea, Best Korea!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
