I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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