Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
