I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
birth control should be required to get into college
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
