People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
