Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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