is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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