That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
