I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
time to smoke my breakfast
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize