I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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