tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
