Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
