well you can't waste a boner
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
