You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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