It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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