Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
