How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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