3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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