I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize