i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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