New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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