It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
