i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
