It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
