Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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