Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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