I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Randomize
