Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
