She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
PANTIES FOUND
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