I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just cut my nipple shaving
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
