Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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