420 ftw
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
