You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
