If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
