there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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