I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
