Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
