Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
