Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
