Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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