Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize