His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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