Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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