party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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