well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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