just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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