I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
