Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
