who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
