I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
