in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
