I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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