Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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